Tuesday, February 17, 2004
i got to a interesting point" every hting has an opposite meaning to me"
maybe thats one of the reason i'm kinda strange. u know
from the sextual asultment volunteer work that i had, till reading "Veronika decided to die" I think the whole message of the book was enjoy the smallest thing in your life and try to be diffrent. the 2 things that cahnge in me is: I decided to be different, and like veronika le my self get angry, if i want and feel the hatred, and thats i am today, i screemed like a hell today at my grand ma. I'm the one who used to tell everybody that calm down , and take it easy with her, cus she doesn't know wat she is doing. and i blow up today, and i wasn't angry, and its not even close to my angry time.....
u know she took away my "ajil" well thats not an excue to get angry off, but if i dont' get angry over ajil, or too much oil she puts in rice, and igore the fact that i am doing s.t here, and the fact that when i'm watching tv she deicde to do ashpazi, and do every thing by her self to prove that i dont' care, and she can do stuff, or when i make a food and after taking all of her order, she would say i made the dinner and panteha help me .
to.
or calling me an angry girl, i hate that when she argue with me, and then calling me angry or crazy. beside all of those she took my ajils too.
any ways i knwo all of these are excuses but y i should always eb the humble one? whats wrong of expresing my self, and letting others know wat they r doing and makes me uncomfortable, i know i wil probably change by end of this week, cuz this is my " angry week" and i would be angry as much as i want, regard less that tehy really dont' want to accpet it or not.
and other things myabe there are small things that can makes me happy, like knowing fariba get engaged, or s.o calling me love. or getting emails from maryam ;) or getting a compliment, or have a conversatin about philosophy, or getting a good mark, or finding a" rooyeh" in"mast" ( i think thats the only things that used to make happy also when i was a kid) or having a chocolate, or ice cream or watching will and grace, or get invitation for a party, or buying s.t for my self.
BUt even non of these would make me happy for a long time, maybe becouse they become part of a rutine, i remember i was so happy when i got my black purse, or my blue bracelet, even thought when i still remember how happy i was ( remembering the happiness) that also makes me happy,
but
Comments-[ comments.]
maybe thats one of the reason i'm kinda strange. u know
from the sextual asultment volunteer work that i had, till reading "Veronika decided to die" I think the whole message of the book was enjoy the smallest thing in your life and try to be diffrent. the 2 things that cahnge in me is: I decided to be different, and like veronika le my self get angry, if i want and feel the hatred, and thats i am today, i screemed like a hell today at my grand ma. I'm the one who used to tell everybody that calm down , and take it easy with her, cus she doesn't know wat she is doing. and i blow up today, and i wasn't angry, and its not even close to my angry time.....
u know she took away my "ajil" well thats not an excue to get angry off, but if i dont' get angry over ajil, or too much oil she puts in rice, and igore the fact that i am doing s.t here, and the fact that when i'm watching tv she deicde to do ashpazi, and do every thing by her self to prove that i dont' care, and she can do stuff, or when i make a food and after taking all of her order, she would say i made the dinner and panteha help me .
to.
or calling me an angry girl, i hate that when she argue with me, and then calling me angry or crazy. beside all of those she took my ajils too.
any ways i knwo all of these are excuses but y i should always eb the humble one? whats wrong of expresing my self, and letting others know wat they r doing and makes me uncomfortable, i know i wil probably change by end of this week, cuz this is my " angry week" and i would be angry as much as i want, regard less that tehy really dont' want to accpet it or not.
and other things myabe there are small things that can makes me happy, like knowing fariba get engaged, or s.o calling me love. or getting emails from maryam ;) or getting a compliment, or have a conversatin about philosophy, or getting a good mark, or finding a" rooyeh" in"mast" ( i think thats the only things that used to make happy also when i was a kid) or having a chocolate, or ice cream or watching will and grace, or get invitation for a party, or buying s.t for my self.
BUt even non of these would make me happy for a long time, maybe becouse they become part of a rutine, i remember i was so happy when i got my black purse, or my blue bracelet, even thought when i still remember how happy i was ( remembering the happiness) that also makes me happy,
but
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